I am beyond sick and yet life has never been more amazing. I have had more healing over wrens death in the past week than I had for an entire year. I am on the path I was meant to walk. I have given so much but gotten more In return. We all talk about a greater power ( me being a quiet catholic not as much as others). We all have moments where we think poor me.i am personally struggling with that at the moment (hospital visits, blood draws and IVs).
When Wren died I thought why me……..poor me……….poor Wren…………. Poor orphans. It was those last two thoughts that pulled me through. I was not thinking about me. I tried to make a difference. I gave up my misery to something else. And it was comforting. It still hurt when I had to re- paint her nursery and take down her crib. I cried when I packed the clothes I had boughten for her into the orphanage donation bin. But I was able to open her door and from time to time even allowed myself to sit in her room……..
I have said this before…… It was Wren who has led me to everything. She led me to Congo. She led me to my two children. She led me to kinshasa and Mayal, Constant, and Seraphine. It is because of her that I had the courage to pursue helping others adopt. She has inspired so many to want to help. I even had the privilege to help reroof an orphanage that I am aspiring to help support. I met an awesome women in my home town and together we are working on starting an older child Christmas in America program. I have some amazing families who have put their faith in me to help them adopt. Such huge huge things are happening!!! I feel god has led me to this path. I feel wrens presence here. I know what I must do. What we must do. I will go where I am led…………I will do it with Wren by my side.